An Excerpt from Tempting Destiny

I thought the day had gone pretty well until I arrived home from the tv studio. My guys greeted me but when I asked what was for supper their reply was, “Why don’t you make supper for once?”

I blinked at them. “That’s not what I do.” I replied. Seriously? They were expecting me to cook? I was the one that made the money that they had been spending.

They seemed to be challenging me as they stood there holding their ground. “When we sat down and wrote down rules a few months ago you agreed that you would make a meal once in awhile. We’ve been together since January and you haven’t made one meal yet. You won’t even operate the microwave.” Elijah Blu stated.

“Baby, I don’t have a clue how to make a meal.” I replied seriously. Nor did I want to operate the microwave. I was a guitar legend.

“We’ll leave you to it. Call us when supper is ready.” He replied, ignoring what I’d said. They turned and walked out of the kitchen as I stared at their backs burning holes in them. I was thinking that Tian would leave too if Elijah Blu ever left me. Maybe I’d be left without either of them. They really needed to shape up and realize how good their life was with me.

I put my jacket on then I walked to the back yard where gorgeous large trees lined both sides of the property. A cement walkway wound its way from the back patio up through a trellis with ivy, and back to the edge of my property. Small solar lights lined the pathway, and there were two wooden benches at the end of it where you could see the ocean. The sun was going down. I stretched out on the bench and looked up at the sunset wondering what I was going to do. My guys had gotten busier with their YouTube channel in the past weeks. They’d made friends with other YouTubers who were from different parts of the world and they had talked about meeting up with one or two of them to work out some videos. They’d spend my money to fly wherever they wanted to.  It had been mentioned in passing but now it was on my mind along with them wanting me to make dinner.  As for dinner, one of them would cave and either call something in for delivery or microwave some leftovers.

And where were Kevin and David? I hadn’t seen much of them lately. Kevin didn’t even call me and text me much anymore. But then when did I have time for him?  The tv show was taking up a lot of my time. I hadn’t thought about the time factor when I’d signed the contract to do the show. And now I had some concerts on a few weekends in between doing the show. It felt like I hardly had any time with my guys anymore, or anything else.  How had all of this happened and I hadn’t even realized it until now? Why was my world suddenly crashing down?

Someone was shaking my shoulder. “Babe, wake up. Your band is here to practice.” I heard Tian say.

“Oh dammit!” I replied as I sat up.   I had forgotten that they were coming over to work on some songs that we hadn’t done so well on at our concert, not that the fans had noticed. So now I was hungry and I still had work to do.

I walked into my studio and shut the door behind me. “Don’t start.” I warned them.

“I ordered us some food.” Kevin told me. He liked to smooth things over. No doubt Elijah Blu had complained to him about me.

“Thank you, Kevin.” I replied as I picked up my maroon guitar and slung it across my shoulder.

“You just said thank you. You never say thank you. Is your life with the chinks falling apart?” Carol chuckled.

“Yeah. So shut up.” I agreed. I was surprised that she seemed sober, and that she had let that be the last word. If I were to tell her one more time not to be racist, the entire night would be ruined. I'd let it slide this time.

It was a little over an hour before the food arrived. All of us, including my guys sat at the kitchen table eating. I was silent. Kevin, David, and Rick talked sports although it led me to wonder what sport was happening in March.  David asked my guys how their first concert had gone. Elijah Blu, usually enthusiastic about anything he and Tian had ever done, had a blank expression on his face as he talked about the concert. Tian was a little more animated.

The band and I put in another hour of practicing then all of them left except for David who stayed to clean up the kitchen.

I figured that I might as well get the fight started that was bound to happen between me and my guys. They were watching anime on tv but it was obvious that they were angrier than I’d ever seen them. “What’s wrong with us?” I asked as I stood there looking down at them as they sat on the couch.

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong with us.” Elijah Blu said angrily as he grabbed the remote and summoned the DVR.

The tv show that I co-starred in appeared on the screen. Deacon was hugging on me as we laughed about something. Deacon and I were bantering back and forth. I was looking adoringly at Billy as he stood way too close to me. There were some comments that both Deacon and I had made that had been pieced together as if it was the same conversation. It made it look like there was a romance going on between us.

“WHY are you still hugging on Deacon?  You’re in a fucking relationship with me and Tian!” Elijah Blu yelled as he jumped up and stood in my face.

“Do NOT curse at me! You will respect me!” I yelled back.

“Elijah Blu!” Tian cautioned as he jumped up to calm him down. He had been surprised by his actions as had I.

“It’s hard to respect you when you’re loving on these guys on national tv!” Elijah Blu said in a slightly calmer tone. “You’re making us look like fools!”

“Is that what you think too, Tian?” I asked.

“It’s incriminating. My family won’t appreciate it.” He replied. He obviously didn’t want involved in our conflict.

“Some of this is just edited so it looks and sounds like something it isn’t. I can’t do anything about that. And the hugging just makes me seem likeable. It will confuse the media which is good for us. It may totally keep our relationship out of sight.” I tried to explain.

“I don’t want our relationship out of sight! I want the world to know I’m your boyfriend! I want whatever you have going on with Deacon to stop! Have you fucked him? If you have, I’m out of here.” Elijah Blu argued. He was still right in my face.

I let my reaction be surprise instead of the stone-cold expression that I would usually have held inside an argument. “No! Of course not. He’s just a friend.” I thought about what had happened that day with Deacon. I wondered how much of it had been filmed and would haunt me next. Either way my guys were totally overreacting.

“Maybe you better step back from this friendship you have with him before it becomes more.” Tian remarked to me in a calm tone. I wondered how I could do that. I sometimes had an even deeper emotional connection to Deacon than I did with Tian, and that was truly puzzling.

Elijah Blu turned and picked up my cell phone from the end table. “If this is all so innocent why is his number in your phone?”

Shit! I was not about to tell them about when I’d been drugged and Deacon had driven me home. How I’d sat on his lap and we’d clung to each other. That was the night he’d put his phone number in my phone. “He put his number in my phone in case I ever needed help with anything. He said he had my back. But I’ve never called or texted him.” I replied.

“You KNOW he gave you his number in case you ever wanted to fuck him.” Elijah Blu argued. His anger hadn’t diminished much since he’d first yelled at me.

“That’s really not the impression I got.”

“Did you give him your number?”

“No, I don’t give out my number.”

“You gave the both of us your number when we first met.”

“That was different. I wanted you to call me.”

Elijah Blu swiped my unlocked phone and pulled up my nine contacts. I saw him bring up Deacon’s phone number. He paused to get my reaction before calling him.

“Elijah Blu, don’t.” Tian murmured.

I shrugged. “Do it.”  Who cared if he called Deacon?  It would just make him look like the jealous lover he was.

“Dammit!” Elijah Blu swore then he threw my phone at the couch. It bounced but didn’t fall on the floor.  I hadn’t realized that he had this much of a temper. I supposed that there might be a lot more that I didn’t know about him. I also had a temper, and one day he’d see how angry I could get.

I took a breath and let it out. “What else is wrong?”

“YOU need to cook once in a while.” he told me.

I half expected him to poke me in the upper chest with his index finger but he didn’t. In my mind I’d laid him out on the floor for that stunt. “Babe, I don’t want to and I don’t have time. Maybe I had time back in January but I sure don’t now. Can you give me some leeway on this?” I replied as I held my ground. In my mind he was lying on the floor on his back and my foot was pretty much pressing off his airway.

“What makes you think that we want to or that we have time?”

I had to admit that I didn’t like this angry Elijah Blu that I was experiencing. “David used to cook on certain days. If he’ll continue to do that, I can have Sal come over and cook the rest of the time. We’ll have to do something else for breakfast.”

He and Tian shared some silent communication between them.

“Ok.” he agreed.

“Why haven’t my friends been here lately? Did you tell them to stay away?” I asked.

“Well, they’re always here! Can’t we have some privacy in our own house?” He exclaimed.

“Kevin has helped you both out with a lot of things, Elijah Blu. And you bring your friends here.” I reminded him.

He huffed and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know. And he’s your best friend. I know.”

“Will you work this out with him and David?”

“I will, but YOU have to stay away from Deacon. Can you quit the show?”

“Only if I want to be sued for every cent I have.” I wondered if he had quit a lot of things in his life. He’d walked out on me three times a few months ago as the three of us were trying to commit to being in a throuple, then he had nearly broken my and Tian’s heart by leaving us once we’d become a throuple.

“I mean it. No hugging. Leave him alone.”

I didn’t appreciate being warned not to be friendly. “Ok.  What else?”

“Tian and I are going to fly to Germany tomorrow for a few days to meet with a fellow YouTuber and make some videos with him.” he said ever so casually. He retreated to the couch and sat down. Tian picked up my cell phone and sat by him. Then he placed my phone on the end table.

I crossed my arms. “You’ll miss the party at Priscilla’s house. Priscilla was a well-known movie star. I told you last week that we were invited. Plus, it’s getting to be where we don’t have any time together. How are we supposed to have a relationship when we’re never together?”

Tian spoke up. “Sorry babe, we forgot. And I know what you mean that we hardly have any time together anymore.  We need to talk about that when we get back from Germany.”

I stepped in front of him and looked down at him sitting on the couch since he had said so little during our argument. “What are your beefs with me, with us?”

He looked startled. Elijah Blu always handled everything. Maybe no one had ever asked his opinion. I stood there until he found some words. I noticed that Elijah Blu was staring at him, maybe their silent communication was having technical difficulties. “I think all of us were wrong about how much you’d have to change your life to have us in it. You’re having a lot of difficulty adjusting to it. I don’t think you had much fun in your life in the past but from what I’m seeing, you’re having a blast being a co-star on a tv show – more fun than you’re having with us. Deacon and your other co-stars pay you so much attention and you love that. Everyone in general seems to be drawn to you, especially Kevin and David.  It’s so hard for Elijah Blu and I to understand because that doesn’t happen to us. You’re used to having Kevin and David around you all the time, taking care of you and we’ve shut that down. And we know you’re still having trouble with Rick and Carol. I think you’re doing something to keep them in line but I don’t know what. And it feels like you and your late husband were only a couple on paper. You’ve never had a real love relationship or parents that showed you how a real relationship and family should be. And you took on this tv show and let JerryLee schedule concerts at the same time. I know you did this before you met us but it’s putting all of us in a time crunch. And Elijah Blu and I didn’t think about how much time we spend on our YouTube channel.  It takes a lot of time. When you helped us that entire month of January, it put a false idea in our heads that we’d always have that much time to be together, and we’re sorry about that.  Babe, you’re going through a lot and I’m sorry about that too. You must be exhausted.” 

I stood there with his words sinking in. I had just asked a simple question and he had played out the entire song that Roberta Flack sang called “Killing Me Softly”. She had sung, “Killing me softly with his song, telling my whole life with his words.”  Of course, he probably didn’t know that song since mostly what he and Elijah Blu listened to and played was latest released pop music and some classical music. And he had approached the conversation so differently than Elijah Blu had. Elijah Blu had angrily yelled at me, while Tian had just described my entire life with compassion and non-judgment. There were no accusations or demands from him, but there were some statements that were painfully accurate. I had temporarily forgotten that he could read me so well. It made me wonder what else he knew about me but kept inside of himself, what he might not have told Elijah Blu. I wondered if I should be afraid.

I couldn’t disagree with one damn thing he’d said, now that it was out there in the open. In the not-so-distant past I would have stiffened up and responded in anger at the way he’d summed up my life. But as it was, I had no words. He’d just pointed out that I was an egotistical star who’d grown up in the wild, had empty relationships and who had people that took care of my every need. Oh, and that I wasn’t loving on he and Elijah Blu like I should. I felt prompted to defend my worthless life.

Elijah Blu took that away from me in that moment that I’d paused.  He looked a bit enlightened by Tian’s summary of my life but his first words were, “Are you doing something to keep Rick and Carol in line? They’ve been oddly subdued in the past few weeks.”

“That’s not what we should be focusing on here,” Tian murmured. “Babe, will you come here and sit with us?”

I directed my gaze at Elijah Blu. “I’m paying them off, that’s what I’m doing,” I replied evenly. I had never meant for this secret to be known. I was also well aware that as time went on that the blackmail would become more expensive. I walked between the end table and the couch and sat next to Tian who promptly enclosed me in his arms. “We love you, Babe.” He breathed into my hair. “And we’re sorry for all of this.”

Yeah, this was why I’d never leave Tian. He had so much to teach me and in such a loving way. He’d forgive me if I cheated. Hell, he’d forgive just about anything I might do. I felt certain about that. In the meantime, he’d slowly shape me into a better person.

“How much?” Elijah Blu asked, regarding the blackmail I was paying. His words were laced with anger.

“Elijah Blu, come here.” Tian beckoned softly. A moment passed and then Elijah Blu scooted over against me and put his arms around me and Tian. “I love you both. And I don’t want to lose what we have. I’m sorry for being so angry at you, Babe. I guess there is more to this situation than I originally thought.”

Hmmm. Tian was teaching Elijah Blu to be a better person too. I wondered how many years it had taken for Elijah Blu to get this far.