Elijah Blu’s parents had a big party for his twenty-sixth birthday.  All the relatives that didn’t give a fuck about him were there too, but the few friends he’d had from years ago had also been invited. As I watched the crowd mingle and Elijah Blu blush and be cordial, I wondered if his mother had just wanted to show off her glamorous home. She was the life of the party, dressed to the hilt, hair done in a very glamorous way, and laughing with the guests. She was so unlike my mother. My mother was loving and real. Oh wait, she was hugging against Elijah Blu, pulling him close with one arm. Now she was kissing his cheek. Yeah, that was fake. I suspected that he was hating every single moment of this party.

It took me a moment to realize that the party was also for Paul, especially since he was nowhere visible to me. Eventually, their mother must have realized that he was missing. She noticed me and ordered me to find him. “He’s probably in his room. Bring him down here.” She said.

I went upstairs, feeling odd that I was loose in their home. I knocked on Paul’s door only to get a loud shout of, “what?”

“It’s Tian. Your mum sent me to find you.”

“Okay, I’m found. Goodbye.”

I stood there wondering what I was supposed to do next. Their mum hated me and had sent me to do a simple chore which I was failing. And what was wrong with Paul? He was normally the life of the party. “Can I come in?” I finally asked.

“Whatever.”

I cautiously opened the door and walked in. He was sitting on his bed leaning against the headboard. There was a bottle of whiskey sitting on the nightstand beside him. “Are you drunk?”

“Maybe. I probably won’t fall down the stairs if that’s what you want to know.” He said in a bored tone.

I sat down on the edge of the bed not knowing where to go from there. When had he started drinking? Maybe Elijah Blu didn’t know either.

He reached over and handed the bottle to me. “Have a drink. It’s my birthday.”

I reached for it and took a swig. It burned going down but it tasted good. I placed it back on his nightstand. “Okay, now what?”

He had that blank look on his face that Elijah Blu liked to wear sometimes. “I thought you would know. After all, you’ve dealt with my suicidal and mentally unstable brother all these years. Surely you have words of wisdom.”

I hated that he had brought that image to my mind and that he was talking about my lover that way. I remembered walking into this room when Elijah Blu had been about to down several potent pain pills. If I thought about it too long, I’d bawl my eyes out. Paul had that same look on his face. I scooted down the edge of the bed to sit as close to him as I could. “What do you need, Paul? How can I help you?” I asked. Tears were biting my eyelashes. Had he taken something to destroy himself that I didn’t know about? Fuck! There wasn’t time to waste if he did. “Have you taken anything to hurt yourself?” I added.

“Not yet. I hate my life.” There was a dead tone to his voice as he said those words.

It felt weird but the only thing that had ever calmed down Elijah Blu was holding him. I felt myself turn around and crawl over to Paul. I wrapped him in my arms and tried to pull him onto my lap but it was hard. He weighed at least as much as I did. He sighed in defeat but helped me to clumsily scoot him onto my lap. He cried while I repeated soothing words that Mum had said when I had been at my lowest. He wiped his eyes after only a moment or two, and looked down at me. I was stunned into a paralyzed state as he leaned down and kissed me. I don’t know why, but I let him. I think it was because he was so fragile, so much like his brother had been at times. We stared at each other. “What was that?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Life experience, I guess. No, it meant something. You love my brother. It’s so unconditional, it moves me. I want it to rub off on me. I don’t know what the hell I mean.” He replied. He moved off my lap.

I felt so much sympathy for him even though I didn’t know what the hell he had said. He was hurting. Maybe that’s all I was good for – helping people that were hurting. “Paul, Elijah Blu and I are here for you now. We’ll help you figure something out, okay? Please don’t do anything rash. We’re here now. I’m sorry we haven’t been. You and your brother have needed each other. Things will get better. I promise.”

“I do need you.”

I looked up as Mrs. Xiong abruptly burst into the room. She glared at the both of us. “What the fuck are you doing to my son, Christian?” She demanded.

“Move!” Paul growled as he roughly pushed me off the side of the bed. I landed on the floor as he threw up all over the bed.

“Are you fucking drunk, Paul?” She just about yelled. “Did you give him that alcohol?” She demanded of me.

“No! He was messed up when I walked in here.” I growled as I stood up. “I was trying to talk him down. He needs counseling.”

“What’s he talking about?” She demanded of Paul. Then she grimaced and said, “Go to the bathroom and change clothes. And thanks for fucking up this party for me, Son.” She wadded up the bedspread as he stumbled to the bathroom.

I didn’t feel like saying shit to her but I fucking cared too much about Paul.  “He’s not happy. I don’t know why.” I remarked.

“It’s none of your damn business. Go home! And stay away from my family.”

Paul walked out of the bathroom buck naked and steadied himself on the wall. I smiled.

She shook her head in aggravation as he stared at her. “I’m through with you. As far as the guests, I’m saying that you’re ill. Don’t you fucking come downstairs. Do you hear me?” He saluted her. She turned to me. “And you, GO HOME! You’re not welcome here.” She slammed the door shut as she left.

“Take a look. I bet my dick is bigger than Alley’s. You can touch it if you want.” Paul remarked.

My face reddened as I realized that I had looked, and yeah, his dick was bigger. “I’ll help you get dressed and you can come home with us.” I told him. “Are you going to vomit again?”

“I do want to go home with you but you don’t live together anymore, remember?”

The door opened again and I was horrified to see their dad’s face. It looked like he was about to freak out on us. “What is this?” he asked tensely.

“I was pissed off. I got drunk and threw up on the bed. He just showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time. I was being an asshole by shucking my clothes off. You know, being a fuck up as usual.” Paul remarked in aggravation. I might have stood there with my mouth on the floor at the way they talked to each other, but I controlled my expression.

As his dad stared at him, I decided to get this over with. “Mr. Xiong, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get him dressed and take him home with me. Maybe he’ll talk to me.” I was shaking as I said that. I wished that I had just told him that Paul was leaving with us.

“Thank you. I think that’s probably best, otherwise his mother might kill him.” With that, his dad exited the room. It was crystal clear to me now why his parents wanted Elijah Blu to move back. They were uncaring parents who expected their kids to raise themselves and not have any problems. It made me sick.

I pulled clothes on Paul as he mainly didn’t cooperate, and I didn’t think it was because he was too drunk. He just didn’t fucking care. My phone rang. “Is my brother okay? Daddy said he’s drunk.”

“Yeah, I’m taking him home. Stay until your party is over or at least another thirty minutes so your Mum doesn’t totally freak out.”

“Okay.” He replied without question.

I managed to get Paul downstairs and out the front door with just one or two people noticing. I drove Elijah Blu’s car since it was what we had arrived in.

“If you feel sick you better stick your head out of the window.” I warned him.

“I’m not sick.” He grumbled. “Where’s home? And what’s up with you guys? Alley said you and he weren’t getting along and hadn’t been for the last four or five months. And now you’re living apart.”

I heard his conversation and I wondered too. I hadn’t wanted to live apart, not since we’d made up. When we made the effort to understand each other and be honest with each other, we were epic together. I had a year lease. Maybe Elijah Blu would agree to live together as we became more grounded in our lives here.

I pulled the car into Elijah Blu’s driveway. Maybe his parents didn’t know it, but I had a key to his house and to his car, and he had keys to mine. “We can talk about it.” I finally said to Paul. “But right now, let’s get you inside.”

I got Paul settled, then I sat down with him on the sofa. He lay down with his head on my lap. I felt that he needed comforted so I ran my hand through his hair, playing with it to calm him. Elijah Blu liked that and it had calmed him in the past. I found myself spilling my guts to Paul, about the heartaches we’d gone through, the struggles, and the triumphs we’d had. It’s like I totally forgot that I was supposed to be helping him with his troubles. As I heard the front door open I realized that I’d told Paul so many personal things, some of which I wondered if Elijah Blu would have rather I kept secret. I was such a dumbass. “Paul, I told you some things that were private.” I said in a soft voice.

“My lips are zipped.” He replied. Maybe Elijah Blu had already told him some of those things.

“Did your dad drop you off?” I asked as Elijah Blu entered the room. He was carrying some containers of leftovers from the party. I hoped that one of them contained birthday cake.

“Don’t be mad, okay?”

“About what?’ I asked.

He looked downward. “Uh, I have a new car, a new Honda Civic. Paid for. It’s gray. All I have to do is pay half of the insurance. Daddy bought it for me for my birthday. He said it’s the last time he’s buying me a car. I need to return my old car to the dealership tomorrow.”

I swear that half of my life was staring with my mouth open in surprise. He had a fucking new car that was paid for? “Will your dad buy me one too?” was all I could ask back.

“One day, I’m going to buy you a new car.” He replied. He disappeared into the kitchen with the containers.

“Do you drive?” I asked Paul.

“No. If I fucking learn how to drive then Mum will have an errand boy to run errands. I don’t need that shit.”

“But you’ll be sixteen in two days.” I protested as if it meant anything.

“I want to live with you guys.” He said instead, something that he had said to us many times before.

Elijah Blu returned and pushed on Paul until he sat up. “So, what’s your problem? Why did you get drunk? Just to embarrass Mum?”

Paul leaned over and put his arms around Elijah Blu, his head on his shoulder. “That was part of it. I’m just tired of living, like you were. There’s nothing exciting here and I hate how Mum treats me. School bores me. I get A’s without trying.”